i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
