You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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