He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
