So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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