There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
