THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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