Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
