lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize