My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
