Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize