He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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