i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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