I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
