kristin has been a bad kristin
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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