I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
