i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
