they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
