Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
