If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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