Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
