508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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