You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
