umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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