Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
