You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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