3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
no, he came in my armpit
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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