i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
