haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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