i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
