I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
