I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
