her vagine was all disorganized.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
