Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
