I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
