did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you traded sex for a burrito?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
