you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
