I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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