I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
