omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
