I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
