She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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