Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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