no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Found the puke drawer
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
