I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
