I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
