you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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