is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
