try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
