ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
