i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
