Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
