I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
