where am i from again
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
