I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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