ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
