Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I think my moral compass just broke
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
