I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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