I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
