Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
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