why didn't you poke me back
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
