Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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