So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
