I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
