Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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