grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize