you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
